Over the years, I’ve tried lots of different ways to get in my exercize while avoiding the boredom that typically sets in once I’ve done it for a couple of months.  Many, many years ago, I went to a bike shop to look for a used bike. Hanging from a hook on the wall, a bright blue unicycle caught my eye. “Ohmygod, that is sooooooo cool!  Is it hard to learn?”  The cute sales guy assured me that it was “just like riding a bike–once you’ve got the hang of it, you’ll always have it, and it’s GREAT exercize!”

So I dished out a lot more $$ than the used Huffy was gonna cost me, and took it home. Enthusiastically, I propped myself between the hall walls, and gave ‘er a try. In the process of busting my ass numerous times, I scraped the paint and drywall up real good in my rental apartment. Never rode the bastard, and it ended up in a yard sale 15 years later. (I guess I held on to it thinking that it at least looked cool. When people saw it and asked if it was mine, I’d reply with a flippant “yeah, it’s tough, but  great exercize.”)

Pogo stick? Check. (actually mastered that one). Jump-rope? Yep-I can even do the criss cross thingy. When I was 35, (!) my Dad even gave me a Razor (you know–skateboard w/ handlebars), but it was a rough ride on the asphalt streets, plus, I felt like one leg–the one that pushed–was becoming noticeably more muscular than the other. I was trying hard to look fit, not freakish!

A couple of weeks ago, Ellen was interviewing Mira Sorvino for the movie The Wrestler, and Mira said that she had used a hula hoop to get so fit for her role as a stripper. Damn!  She looked great!   Hell, I could hula hoop–I used to be the Queen of the hula hoop !!

SoI went to Richard’s Variety Store, which is the coolest place to find old toys and games, gag gifts, cards, etc.  There was a whole box of hula hoops.  And not just any hula hoop, but  shoop-shoop hula hoops! Remember them??? ohhhh–i was sooo excited! and they were only $2.50, so i bought 2, you know, for contests and stuff.

So I took my big hula hoop outside and gave ‘er a spin. 3 circles- (whoosh, whoosh, whoossshhh) and it promptly fell to my knees. Twice around the knees-(whoosh, whoosh)  and it fell on the floor-(whoo…).  Tried again, same results. And again, and again. Well, I used to be good at this thing, in fact, way better than my friends, so I figured that it must be too light-a cheap imitation.  Yeah, Googled “Wham-O Hula Hoop”–they’re waaayyyy more $$ than $2.50.  So, once again, I wasted my money (and remember, i’m cheap) on something that will sit in the closet until the next yard sale.

So I’m just gonna be content with lacing up my sneaks, putting the leashes on the pups, and going for my morning run. Until I get a better idea.

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