“Humpbacks spotted about 2-miles offshore at blahblahblah….” the coastguard transmits over the VHF.

Humpbacks? Whales?? I throw myself down the companionway to grab the binoculars.

“Head out further!” I command my captain. Jeff dutifully steers to starboard as we leave the coast of New Jersey behind.

Dolphins had followed us out from Cape May, NJ the previous day, playing off our bow. That was a huge thrill for this girl-and now whales? That would be the icing!

Never ones to follow the pack, Jeff and I decided to sail north during this crisp mid-September weather. Southern Maryland was fine, but since our plan was to head south to Florida and beyond the first of November, we had some sailing to do in the meantime. Plus, I had a friend in New Jersey that wanted to do a little sailing with us, so we had a great excuse to head north. And, since my bucket list included a sail-by of Lady Liberty and Ellis Island, (to be featured in a future post), the perfect window of opportunity was staring us in the face.

Each evening, whether on anchor or at a marina, conversation inevitably turned to one’s destination.

“Why north, why now?” we were asked with curiosity and skepticism. We were the only boat currently heading north. All of the sailors we met, usually from Canada or New England, were making a hasty exit before the weather turned. It was difficult to convey our reasoning, even to ourselves, at times.

Warned that sailing offshore here can be rough, we embraced the challenge. As newbies, we wanted the experience.

Six days in, leaving Atlantic City, NJ, the winds picked-up, the seas built and our sailing conditions deteriorated. We relegated the pups to “down below”. Roxie is not that confident of a sailor, and she prefers to retreat to her “hidey-hole” under the aft berth. Chance, on the other hand, is NOT happy to be away from his humans, and complains loudly when we keep him below.

The boat was rocking and rolling, getting pummeled by 4-7 foot waves coming in 6-second intervals from several directions. I knew I needed to get this on video, so I went below again and dug out the camera.

Hmmmm…. I should probably drink some water, need to stay hydrated. After the first two attempts at filling my cup ended up badly (read—all over the cabin) I resigned myself a carton of coconut water and headed back on deck.

Attempting to narrate my video while capturing the waves from different angles, I had what would suffice after the seventh take.

Wait….there’s a whale! A WHALE!!!

I zoom in my telephoto lens. Can’t see much. Grabbing the binocs, I scan the horizon. Hard to tell. I look in-between the crests of the waves. OMG! There it is! It’s spouting! It’s….

Shit. It’s just the waves.

Setting the binocs aside, my mouth starts to water. I know what that means all too well. Impetuously, I lean out over the side-rail. Unfortunately, the wind’s velocity forces last nights fried clams across the side of the boat and my right arm. With more to come, I stagger to the leeward side and let go just in the nick of time. Gasping for another breath before I spew again, I get a face full of diesel smoke and salt spray.

This continues for several minutes before I can sit down to regain my strength. I’ve heard that sailing is a really good core workout. You want a good core workout? Throw up over the side of a boat for 30 minutes. 6-pack abs guaranteed.

Damn. Now I have to pee. Jeff warns me not to go below again.

But…

After an hour of fighting the seasickness and urge to go to the bathroom I know it’s “go or “blow”. Jeff suggests I hang out over the side.

Are you kidding me? I can’t balance standing up! How in hell do you expect me to position my back-side over the railing?

Then I remember the “doggy diapers” we have on board from our (now deceased) elderly, incontinent dog.

Do you think….

I am embarrassed to admit I seriously considered it.

I went below to use the head.

I returned topside for some more “ab exercises”.

I never saw the whales, but at this rate I’ll be bikini-ready in no time.