WTF??
“You have cancer”.
Those three words are probably the most dreaded, life-changing words ever. For me, anyway.
Yet, that’s what I was told 2 weeks ago, on a sunny Sunday afternoon, after returning to El Gato after a fun day at the market.
After the initial shocked silence, I almost laughed. Me? Are you fucking serious? You’re bullshitting me, right?
Fortunately, it was Jeff breaking the news to me, and not a doctor, although I’m not sure I would have cleaned up the language anyway. I like to cuss. And I love the F-word, and use it quite a lot. I think I’ll be using it a lot MORE now.
So in a flurry of phone calls and appointments, we met with the wonderful Dr. Velasco, who would now become an important link to my life here in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. He is the Oncologist that ordered the ultrasound, then insisted on a tissue biopsy following the initial mammogram that revealed the mass in my right breast. He spent nearly 2 hours with me and Jeff, explaining the stage (2-B) and type (triple-negative, or TNBC). TNBC is not the good kind. (Is there a good kind of breast cancer)? I call it the “celebrity cancer”, as it is what Joan London and Robin Roberts so bravely and publicly battled.
Without going into a lot of specifics, the mass is not clearly defined, and seems to have invaded my lymph nodes. So a simple lumpectomy isn’t really an option here. Neither, unfortunately, is hormone treatment, as TNBC is hormone resistant.
So now I’m faced with a mastectomy and chemo, possibly, but hopefully not, followed by radiation.
Fuck.
So that’s it, in a nutshell. I am scheduled for the surgery on Dec. 10, with chemo to follow 6 weeks after surgery. I am meeting with the chemo doctor next week to discuss some variations and “new” developments in treatment for my specific case, and will let you know the outcome of that visit.
I have decided to go public with my story so that maybe I can help others going through this; so I can keep my friends and supporters updated; and to clear out the now-constant voices in my head.(Seriously, it’s 2:35 in the morning, and I am processing wayyyy too much right now.) I am an open book, pretty much, always have been. And I plan to address not only the physical aspects of this nasty diagnosis, but the mental and spiritual, as well. I welcome questions and comments. Just be nice. I won’t tolerate mean people or armchair doctors.
Several women have asked me if I found the lump during a self exam or what. That is complicated, and i am going to address that in an upcoming post. Its some important shit, along with other stuff you should be aware of.
Also Why I am choosing to stay in Mexico for my treatment, and lot of other questions I know you’re dying to ask.
So if you are interested, and aren’t averse to bad language or the occasional rant, feel free to follow along on this journey. If you know someone else dealing with BC, share.
Oh, and btw, callitkismet.com will continue to post about travel, boat life, and all the usual stuff, as well.
Until next time,
Jules
No Pasa Nada (everything will be alright).
Jules- I am so sorry for the sudden turn of events. Thank you for sharing your journey…and I think you are right- it helps the collective when individuals bravely step forward to share their battles.
Sending lots of love, vitality, and strength to, you.
Thank you, Scott. If I can help one person, it will make it worthwhile. (Not having cancer, just sharing my story.)
I’ll be following, and thinking about you A LOT. xoxo
Thanks dear, old friend. Pet those pups for me!
Hey there. Just thinking of you kicking this cancer’s ass!!! So sorry this is something you even have to deal with!❤️
Thanks, Allison! I just got a visual of me in my red cowboy boots kicking me some cancer-ass!
Jules, I’m seriously sorry to hear this. Know you are not alone. There IS life after cancer.
I do know I’m not alone. It’s unfortunate and scary that bc seems to be an epidemic these days! Thank you!
Julie, I’m not good with writing like you. But, my heart ponds and my eyes feel full!!! All I can think is that song…. “Julie, Julie, Julie…do you love me??” How random is that?! I have so many crazy memories of you!!! You are the toughest, funniest, bad ass gal… that I know!!! You will ride this horse! You will run the race and win!!! And you know, I LOVE You!
Our memories go so far back! I appreciate your support and am so glad we got to spend time together, even briefly, this summer. Love to you always and please hug Bill for me. (Have you told him?)
Hey fuck buddy! (Didn’t we become friends over no one eating your fucking appetizer!) Keep up your fucking chin and spirit! Like me, you will one day be fucking clean and continue to enjoy this fucking life! And no more fucking 3am blogs! You need your fucking rest!
Bwahaha! Yes, the appetiser was a “tropical cobbler” that closely resembled baby shit. And we’ve been fuck buddies ever since!
Sending a universe of light to my sister, use the light anyway you want. Love you!
Thank you, dear Poo! I miss you more than words can say!
Glad to hear more of the fucking details! We’re crossing to the mainland in a few days. Love to you and Jeff
Oooohhhh I hope we get to see you! The “good” news is we will be here in the spring for the Banderas Bay regatta, and Jeff can crew for you!
Big loves and hugs to you and Jeff. It was great to see you and will look for you either in Zihuatanejo or back here in Nuevo. Thank you for putting it “out there” and yes, there are lots of questions ( I just wish there were more answers) You are an aMAZING and courageous woman.
❤️💙♥️🍷
Thank you Donna. I heard you already left! Damn! I wanted to spend some more time with you, however I was sick. Sail well, and see you back here in Nuevo! (We ain’t goin’ nowhere!)
Wonderful Julie! My spirited American bestie, fucking luff ya xx
Oh how I wish my little Scottish tart was here with me now! I miss you! And fuckin’ luff ya back!
We’ve got this! SBW’s always kick ass! Love you and support you 1000%. You will have the easiest surgery! No pain (my Mother literally only had to take ibuprofen – unless you choose to be high 😄😄😄 and that I also support!). No reaction to chemo and no reason for radiation! Also, read Love, medicine and miracles.
Thanks, SBW o mine! I wish I had a picture of the 3 of us in Sedona! I will order the book. Thanks for the suggestion!
Julie – you will beat this shit! I am in awe of the life you and Jeff planned for and are living and I know you’re not going to let this fuck it up. Praying for you and supporting you from your old stomping grounds in Ansley park! Xoxo Erin
Thanks, Erin! As I said to you back in the ‘hood… “Wake me up when this is over!”
Sending so much love to you.
Thank you so much! Love is the answer. (That, and chemo, I guess)
Oh my friend. Thank you for sharing here and I join dear ones (all around the world, I am sure) in sending light and love. We are holding you close and lifting you up. XXOO
Thanks for your kind words. I get a lot of inspiration reading your posts!
Oh Jules, how brave you are…thank you for sharing and know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers. If anyone can beat this, you can!
Thanks, Peg! The writing is very therapeutic for me, and I hope by sharing I can inspire someone else.
Keep up the fight, Jules! You’ve got this.
yes I do!
I’m in your corner Julie. Big pink hugs to you my sister warrior.
BTW. I am now having side effects to the hormone treatment. Not too bad yet, but it has not yet been one month on this crap. I’m underwhelmed by it having to be an option for my journey.
Let me know when you want to reconnect. Sorry about your side effects. I am holding your hand.
Praying for you Julie!! My Kelly got the same diagnosis in Jan. Triple negative Stage 3 (in lymph nodes) It definitely sucks. She’s almost a year into it if you have any questions. 🙏❤️
Roy, my email address is jnjfredrick@gmail.com. Please drop me a note so I can reply. Lots of questions! Thanks!
Thanks for laying it all out there, it’s helpful NOT to have to guess about what’s going on. Gets lots of rest and relaxation before the 10th. You are a fighter and I know you can beat this. At the risk of being an armchair Dr; take probiotics. It’s so helpful when enduring an operation and all the side effects. Love You, Beth, Andrew and Matthew
Thank you, Beth! And the probiotic suggestion is a good one! I will follow that advice! The rest and relaxation one is a toughie for me, though.
Julie, in 2012 I had a ct of my neck ( I had surgery to fix a disc) the doctors nurse called and said my neck was fine. I however had the report in my hand since I worked at the hospital , I asked about the lump I could feel and the ct confirmed. Dead silence. The adventure began. Mammo and biopsy confirmed estrogen positive , progesterone negative,HER 2 positive invasive ductile carcinoma. Lumpectomy, 18 rounds of herceptin, 6 rounds of carboplatin and 6 rounds of tetrocere, 36 radiation treatments, 5 years of aromasin. I did all but the last year of aromasin . I’ve had extrA lymph nodes removed ( I have an amazing surgeon)
Anyway, you will meet amazing people and make the most special friends, God is good!
Thank you for sharing, Cece. So glad you didn’t just let it go. We ALL have to be our own advocates! I am glad you are through that, my Sewanee Sister!
Honey, I am so sorry to hear you have to go through this. For what it’s worth, I had surgery 31 years ago for Stage 3D ovarian cancer and I am still here. There is hope. I will be following your posts. Rick and I both send our love.
Thank you both so much. You are rocking this life, and are an inspiration!!!!
They say swearing is good for your health – so keep at it!
Sending you big hugs and love.
You better fucking believe it! Thanks, friends!
Wow. Just fricking wow. (I only say it. ). Couldn’t believe that in the midst of Molar Hell a little something like BIG C could possibly.. and now we are rallying the prayer circles, the positive vibes and the lights in our hearts. We are sitting with you, hugging you, listening. Being with you. Every moment.
Thanks, Lucie. I am being tested, for sure, but gonna pass this one with flying colors!
I love the f-bomb and occasional rants. Whatever I can do to support you, sister.❤️
Good. I will do my best to appease you! Thanks for following along and your support.
Sweet Jules, I spent the morning reading about triple-negative and discovered it is NOT my mother-in-law’s middle name. No, it is a serious “C” monster instead. But it also sounds like a strong and courageous woman can defeat it and there you have the court advantage. I have faith in you, use those red boots with vigor! Please give Jeff and Chance and that adorable aussie dog big kisses from Dois and me.
Lauri
SvAshika